Cover Memo Revision

My revision involved attempting to write the first draft of the second unit using only pathos and ethos appeals instead of logos. This involved taking out the arguments based on facts, basically the entire first paper, and adding in personal stories and my opinion. I believe that by first establishing my ethos I will be able to establish a trust with my reader, and then I can use pathos and logos to convince my reader that my opinion is something that they should believe using rhetorical analysis. My strategy is to establish my ethos by letting my reader that I understand how they are feeling and the questions that they have. Then I will finish my ethnical appeal by stating my opinion on the issue of Marijuana legalization. Throughout the rest of the paper, I my goal is to use stories to argue why legalizing Marijuana is a bad thing. The concluding paragraph is made up of appeals to logos to conclude the argument of my paper.
The first step in writing my revision was to develop my ethos as the introduction to my argument. I thought that the most effective way to do this would be to show the reader that I could sympathize with how the audience was feeling and what questions this might bring up in their mind. In the first paragraph I asked the reader a series of rhetorical questions. I said, “You can’t help but ask questions such as, why should people lose jobs because the economy is so bad, when legalizing Marijuana could stimulate the economy? Why should harmless people go to prison simply for Marijuana possession? Why should the violence and crime of the black market continue to be a threat to the safety of my friends and family?” This allowed the audience to have a connection with me because they understand that I know what they are feeling and that I am sitting in the same place they are sitting because the questions that I have are the same questions that they have. In second paragraph, I explained the story of my audience, a woman who has a child in prison for Marijuana, to my readers. I did this primarily by continuing explaining my sympathy for the emotions and questions of the audience. The topic sentence explains the development of the entire paragraph. I wrote, “As a mother like yourself, I understand that watching your child go to prison for Marijuana possession brings many emotions and questions”. I then go on to explain how the mother, my audience, would feel and question her son’s imprisonment. The first two paragraphs successfully establish a connection with my audience through ethical appeal.
In the next two paragraphs I used stories from real people who struggled with Marijuana addiction as a pathetic appeal. I began with the story of a teenager who struggled with Marijuana use, in the third paragraph. I used this to illustrate what could have happened to someone who would be allowed to continue down the path of a drug addiction. I explain it by saying, “. It is very painful for you to watch someone who you care about move from the point of curiosity, through experimentation, deep into the heart of addiction. Here is a story of a typical teenager’s [Brad’s] interaction with drugs.” I explain the details of the consequences of Brad’s addiction and how it is typical to teenagers today. The next story is of the consequences of a drug addiction of a child on a mother and a family. It begins with, “Marijuana abuse affects the family and friends of the person who is addicted as well. Here is a story of a mother who finds out that her children are using Marijuana.” I use this story to explain the consequence of addiction on a family, specifically the mother. This will be affective because the audience, the mother, will relate with the feelings that this story causes, such as not wanting a child to be hurt and not wanting to be hurt herself. These feelings make will make her reflect on her life and her relationship with her son. It will also make her think of the possible consequences that her and her child will have if he had been allowed to develop a serious addiction that would be allowed to continue. Through these stories, I made a pathetic appeal to my audience. This served two purposes, first to develop my overall argument and second to further develop the ethos of my argument.
The next two paragraphs are conclusions of the pathos arguments and a conclusion to the entire argument throughout the paper. The final paragraph includes some appeals to logos to solidify the ethnical appeals. These logical arguments are the same that are included in the first draft of the second unit, but they are not explained as fully. I think that these logos arguments help conclude the appeals to pathos and ethos that were established throughout the paper.
Throughout the paper I used different types of sentences that were developed using the copy and compose activity in class. These sentences were good for emphasis and bringing out emotion. Because of this I used these primarily in the second paragraph of my revision where I told the story of the audience. The first type of sentence was the virtual sentence in paragraph two. After listing a series of questions and emotions I write, “Anger. Fear. Frustration.” It serves to slow the reader down and break up the typical type of complex or simple sentences that I normally write. In the same paragraph I use the interrupted sentence using an explanation. In the middle of explaining what the audience is feeling I insert an explanation of why the audience feels this way. I say, “You believe—in reality you are emotionally convinced—that legalization as a way to not only free him, but also help others who were in the same situation as he was right before he went to jail.” This serves to give insight into what is actually underneath the audience’s emotions, giving depths to my ethical appeal because I will appear to be more knowledgeable about what is actually going on. The next type of sentence is the svmploce, which shows a progressive story of a life. In the third paragraph I write, “No mother wants to watch her child go from a rebel, to a social recluse, to an adult who cannot face his problems.” This serves to show the progression of an addiction from an innocent teen to an adult with serious issues. In the last paragraph I used the symmetrical sentence saying, “Legalization will never equal liberty.” This give emphasis to its simple, but memorable content, by differing in structure. The most common type of sentence I utilize that is different than my normal style is the rhetorical questions. An example of this is in the first paragraph when I ask, “But is this reason alone enough to change the United State policies from prohibition to legalization?” I don’t intend for the reader to actually answer this question yet, but I do intend for the reader to think about the question that I asked. It also allows for me to state my opinion, developing my ethos.
Overall I think that this revision was successful. As a writer I think I learned the importance of developing my ethos and drawing a reader in with a pathetic appeal. On the other hand, I do not think that using lots of logical appeals is bad, as long as they are used with both appeals to pathos and ethos as well. As a writer in the future, I will try to write papers that are more balanced in terms of what rhetorical appeals I use. My first draft was comprised of all logos, and my revision was made up of mostly pathos and ethos, with just a little bit of logos. I believe that the best type of paper would be neither of these, but instead a mixture of the two papers allowing for not only the logical, intelligent arguments to be formed, but also the strong connection with the reader. I understand now that the logical argument cannot be successful without the ethical and pathetic appeals first.